Inquiring Minds Don't Want To Know

Before I committed to the AA program, I spent a fair amount of time wondering how I could get through all those social situations where alcohol was the focus. Bars. Parties. Small get-togethers. Wouldn't people want to know why I wasn't getting hammered like everyone else?

Much to my surprise, once I took the plunge, I found that few strangers or acquaintances cared less whether or not I was drinking. The biggest eye-opener came from my close friends, who said nothing at all about the change. They all knew I had a problem, and were silently rooting for me. I thought it was an extremely classy move on their part.

From the vantage point of newfound sobriety, I also realized that there were much fewer people getting faced at these types of events than I'd imagined. Silly me. When I was drinking hard, I simply assumed everyone else was drinking just as recklessly.

I also found, and continue to find, that most strangers "get" the concept that there are people who would rather not drink. There are probably scores of reasons for this. But I'd be wiling to wager that one of the major ones is most people have an acquaintance, friend or relative who has had contact with Alcoholics Anonymous. They don't need to be brought up-to-speed on why some people don't mix well with alcohol.

Once in awhile, someone still asks me if I drink, and I'll say no. If they press me on the issue, I've found there's a good chance they have a problem with alcohol themselves, and that they are either resentful or curious.

If I think they're resentful and looking for a confrontation, I usually say something like, "I don't drink. It gives me a headache."

If I think they're curious, I'll hint about my own alcoholism, and dust off a trusty, old phrase: "I front-loaded all my drinking in my twenties and thirties." Sometimes they take the bait on that one and want to know more. Sometimes they don't.

The bottom line is that all my fretting over what people would think if I stopped drinking was for nought. As for the rewards I received for intially taking the "risk": it's good to be above ground.

-Joe@aalivechat.com