First Blush

One of the toughest doors I ever had to push open was the one that led to my first AA meeting. I'd read through AA's Big Book beforehand, and even knew some people in other cities who had gotten sober with the program. But I still felt like an intruder. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to relate to the people inside. That a program that had helped millions of alcoholics get sober would somehow not be able help me. That I was barging in where I didn't belong.

Fortunately, I quickly learned one of the pleasant secrets of AA: the entire program is designed around the newcomer. The fact is, I should have known that I was walking into a room filled with people who had been waiting for me all along. Everyone inside was an alcoholic. Everyone had been thrashed by John Barleycorn. And everyone, in their own way, was eager to show me what had been so freely given to them: a life free of alcohol, a life that no longer circled the drain, a new beginning.

I was also lucky in that I had already made personal contact with someone inside that meeting before I'd even entered. I'd done a fair amount of research on the program before I stepped through that door the first time, and I'd hooked up with someone I met on a local help line. (In the U.S., you can generally find the help line of your local AA listed in the white pages of your phone book under "Alcoholics Anonymous).

I'd been calling the help line for a few weeks before the meeting, and I kept getting patched through to the same guy, who answered all my questions, gave me constant encouragement, and kept cajoling me to "take that giant" step and meet him in person at a meeting. I finally relented, met him there, and was introduced around by him to others who regularly attended the meeting. Within an hour, I had about a half dozen phone numbers, a "real live AA member" I could attend meetings with, and a small network of other AAers I could turn to for help as well. I was "in."

As things worked out, I ended up attending that same meeting for about a year, and slowly made my way around to other meetings. Most importantly, I stayed sober – all because someone on the other end of a help line took the time to bring me into the program, and show me around.

If you're thinking of checking out AA for the first time, you may want to consider your local help line as an easy way to take a look-see. In my experience, the people who work these lines are some of the warmest, most caring human beings I've ever come across. And yes, chances are, if you ask them to meet you at a meeting, you'll probably find they'll be more than happy to accommodate. In AA, helping other alcoholics achieve sobriety is one of the key ways we stay sober ourselves.