AA Live Chat: Listkeeper's Blog

One member's perspective on Alcoholics Anonymous

Monday, January 31, 2005

Seen On The Web

Charmed, I'm Sure: I know that I am not much, but I am all I think about.
-Ellen26
The Recovery AACoffeehouse
http://groups.msn.com/TheRecovery
AACoffeeHouse/hearedatmeeting .msnw


Chat Live RIGHT NOW: If you happen to log on to AA LiveChat (http://www.aalivechat.com/) between meeting times, you can still find AA members to chat with right now at the links below.

Unlike the formal meetings on the AA Live Chat schedule, these chats generally tend to be free-for-all, social gatherings, where people may not be talking directly about the AA program. Don't fret the small talk. If you pop into one of these chat rooms and type in something like "I think I may be an alcoholic, and I need someone to talk with," or "I have some questions about alcoholism, can I chat with someone one-on-one via Instant Messaging," you should have no problem getting someone to help you out.

More often than not, someone will contact you on-the-spot via Instant Message, and you can have a private chat with just that person while the others in the room continue to socialize.

Here are the links:

*e-AA 24/7 Chatroom (http://www.e-aa.org/)) When you get to this site, click "Let's Talk," and then click "Let's Chat." e-AA is one of my favorite AA sites. There's great sobriety here, and a tremendous amount of support available. Generally, there's usually at least one person in the e-AA Chatroom at all times. One technical advisory: make sure to turn off your pop-up blocking / ad-blocking software before trying to log into the chatroom.

*Yahoo!'s Friends of Bill W. (http://chat.yahoo.com/)Click "Health and Wellness," Click "Friends of Bill W.": Yahoo! actually has two chatrooms devoted to Friends of Bill W. (Bill W. was one of AA's co-founders). Given Yahoo!'s popularity, you can pretty much expect one or more people to be in the rooms here at all times.

*AOL's Friends of BillW (http://www.aol.com/community/chat/allchats.html):
If you're not an AOL member, clickthis link and then click "Try AOL Instant Messenger ForFree" to get access to AOL's AA chatrooms. Once you're logged on, use key-phrase "Friends of BillW" to betransported to the chatroom. If you're already an AOL member and logged on, click "People Connection," and use key-phrase "Friends of BillW." Like Yahoo!, AOL is a powerhouse when it comes to online chat. There are usually at least two Friends of BillW rooms up-and-running on the service at all times.

*Your Oft-Humble Servant (http://www.aalivechat.com/): I'm usually on AOL a couple of times a day under the handle "joed164." Feel free to IM me. I'm always up for a chat. (One note: sometimes I'm away from my PC, so if I don't answer your IM, it just means I'm momentarily pre-occupied, and most likely up to no good.)

*Swift Help Via Email: If you'd rather interact via email,and you don't mind waiting an hour or so, there are some fast-feedback services available, staffed by AAers who have promised to get back to you as soon as possible. e-AA promises super-fast feedback to email queries sent to this email address: helpnow@e-aa.org.

The Online Intergroup of Alcoholics Anonymous also has a rapid-response email feedback service (http://www.aa-intergroup.org/html/emailsteppers.html)

Fancy Footwork: No matter how far down the path we have traveled, it is the same distance to the ditch.
-Gene B.
The Recovery AACoffeehouse
http://groups.msn.com/TheRecoveryAA
CoffeeHouse/hearedatmeeting
.msnw

Monday, January 24, 2005

Works For Me

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT BEING SOBER

-Not waking up with a brick in my head

-Not watching my life circle the drain as I look on helplessly

-Sometimes being able to see God working in my life when I decide to give my ego a rest

-By doing the Fifth Step, feeling again what it's like to have a child's heart after being freed from the wreckage of my past

-Accepting and dealing with the fact that both good and evil know all the shortcuts to my heart

-Being able to build each day from where I left off the day before -- rather than having to rebuild each day from Ground Zero

-Having an impenetrable sanctuary buried deep within, where I can find solace with my Higher Power

-Realizing that the easiest way to shake off the blues is to help someone else

-Seeing the concept of "principles before personalities" working my own life, and as a result, being able to have people in my life who otherwise would not be there

-Being given the gift of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous -- a universal toolkit that can repair any and all screw-ups ("No job too big or small")

-Joe@aalivechat.com

Monday, January 17, 2005

Seen On The Web

Deja Vu All Over Again: "Gee... I don't remember having any black outs...."
-Keith
The Recovery AA Coffeehouse
http://groups.msn.com/TheRecoveryAACoffeeHouse/
hearedatmeeting.msnw


Quick Cliques: New meetings were added to the nonprofit AA Live Chat Online Meeting Directory (http://www.aalivechat.com/), with its recent update January 1, 2005, including a new voice meeting from down under, the AAustralia Online Recovery Group (http://www.aalivechat.com/Australia.Online.htm). The new group meets twice daily on Palktalk (http://www.paltalk.com/) -- at 8 a.m. Pacific, and again at 1 p.m. Pacific. (Voice meetings enable you to share with others via your PC's microphone and speakers.)

There's also a new UK-based meeting on Yahoo!, A Vision For You (http://www.aaonline.org.uk/meetings.shtml), which meets 1 p.m. Pacific on Wednesdays. And e-AA, (http://www.top-dog-home.com/cgi-bin/chat/chatroom.pl), one of the stalwarts of online Alcholics Anonymous, also has a few more meetings to offer with this latest update.

You'll also find a new listing of Chat Live RIGHT NOW(http://www.aalivechat.com/Chat.Live.RIGHT.NOW.htm) resources, which you can use to connect instantly with another AAer to chat about alcoholism, one-to-one, 24/7. I hope the update will be of use to you. If you have news of other AA chat meetings not listed on the directory, or a meeting time change that's not reflected on the schedule, feel free to zip me an email.
-AA Live Chat
http://www.aalivechat.com

I'm With Bozo: We may have the monkey off our backs. However, the circus is still in town.
-CompleteQtip
The Recovery AACoffeehouse
http://groups.msn.com/TheRecoveryAACoffeeHouse/
hearedatmeeting.msnw

Monday, January 10, 2005

The Scourge Of Commercialism

While online AA has truly begun to touch the lives and hearts of millions, it has also had a sinister side effect. Specifically: the rampant emergence of advertising -- and even outright retail merchandising -- on Web sites purporting to carry the message of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Whether it be links to online "gift shops" selling recovery trinkets, or brazen links to online merchants that have absolutely no relationship to the program and its message, an increasing number of sites appear more than willing to whore out the AA name in exchange for a few bucks.

Moreover, still other sites pretending to espouse the AA spirit have independently decided that simply having a desire to stop drinking is not enough to qualify you for AA membership anymore. Instead, if you want to get sober, you have to pay a monthly fee just to gain entry to the chatroom.

Such crass commercialism is beyond revolting: it's robbing hordes of potential newcomers of their chance to get sober.

How so?

When I first walked through the doors of AA -- a hardened, embittered cynic who believed he'd singlehandedly cornered the market on alcoholic despair -- one of the first things I hunted for with unending zeal was AA's "angle." I was convinced that somewhere, someone had to be leveraging the program to make money off the misery of alcoholics.

In fact, in my heart of hearts, all I really wanted to do was expose the imagined culprits for who they were, and then storm right back out those meeting room doors. My cynicism would be thoroughly vindicated. And I would be free to drink myself to death, convinced there was no spiritual alternative.

Instead, much to my chagrin, I found groups of people meeting in rooms with the most Spartan of furnishings. I listened interestedly as newcomers were repeatedly informed there were no dues for AA membership, that all contributions were voluntary. And I experienced more than a few meetings during which a basket had to be passed around more than once simply to collect enough for the group's rent and coffee.

Moreover, I also ran into one alcoholic after another who wanted no more that to extend a friendly hand, share a cup of coffee, and help me stay sober for another 24 hours. (Ultimately, It would be these same people who would rescue me from the life of a drunkard.)

But what really sold me was a simple transaction, a moment in time, when a literature person at one meeting I attended handed me a hardcover copy of the Big Book -- easily worth $20 in any bookstore at the time -- and told me the price was $5. (He also added that if I didn't have the $5 there and then, the group would be more than happy to arrange easy payment terms.)

"Wow," I thought. "These people may be for real."

Fortunately for me, I stayed on, and became convinced that AA, and the people behind it, are in fact very real. Of course, reluctant to part with my cynicism, I made sure I kicked the tires on the program until both feet were bloody before arriving at that realization.

In the end, I discovered I was the one who had something to prove not AA. For me, the program, and its principles, turned out to be true and pure -- much more so than anything I'd ever achieved in my life. To this day, I still have the same reverence for the program, the same awe for its truth and purity.

That's why I'm more than a bit concerned when I see hordes of money-grubbing, so-called "recovery sites" springing up all over the Web, all more than willing to gussy up AA into a cheap hooker in exchange for some spare change.

And I shudder when I think of the unending hordes of hardened, embittered cynical drunks who are turning to the online world every day for a solution to their alcoholism are finding a brand of AA entirely different than what I found. Instead of finding spirituality in action, they're happening upon sites hawking "recovery" mugs and caps. Instead of finding spiritual sanctuaries, they're being hustled into online shopping malls. And instead of being convinced that the concepts of AA and profit don't even belong on the same bookshelf -- never mind on the same Web site -- they're being told they need to ante up a monthly, recurring fee just for the privilege of sharing.

The question is, how many of these sites have reinforced potential newcomers' jaded cynicism, inspired them to throw up their hands in disgust, and given them that final excuse they secretly want to get on with the business of drinking themselves to death?

Sad to say: it's already too many.

Of course, there are some shades of grey here. I believe most people accept that some remnants of commercialism can be tolerated in exchange for chance to help other alcoholics. There's a vast difference, for example, between an AA group hosted on Yahoo! Groups, MSN Groups, Paltalk or similar services, which run advertising in exchange for their free services, and a retail site masquerading as an AA group simply to secure direct profits for the site owner.

And I believe most people also realize that the groups on Yahoo! and similar services grudgingly put up with the advertising so that they can sincerely reach out to alcoholics in need -- much in the same way groups in the brick-n-mortar world have been using church basements and rooms in other non-program establishments to reach out to alcoholics the world over.

Still, the fact remains that there are hordes of online hucksters perverting the AA message for their own, personal gain.

The solution, I think, can be found in the Serenity Prayer: accept the things I cannot change, and change the things I can. Most likely, AA will never be able to eradicate all the sites looking to cash in on the AA name. But AAers can at least expose those sites for what they are, and take great care to have nothing to do with those sites.

-Joe@aalivechat.com

Monday, January 03, 2005

Seen On The Web

Let's Do Lunch: In Hollywood, where everyone and his brother seems to have an agent, a man stands up at an AA meeting. "Hello," he says. "My name is Bill. I represent Ken, who is an alcoholic."
-Archie, Alcoholic Anonymous 2 (http://groups.yahoo.com, keyword alcoholicanonymous2)

No Standing Zone:
The length of time that it takes for people to take the Steps varies with each individual. I'm going to be a little controversial here because I believe it needs to be said: Most people suffer needlessly and take way too long to do the Steps. Certainly a cacophony of posts should follow but hear me out.

One of the traps that people often fall into is believing that they have all the time in the world to do the Steps. With most people coming into AA at, relatively speaking, high bottoms in many cases, we often find out that going to meetings almost daily and applying some will power gets us through without having to contend with those pesky steps. So, of course, why bother with Step 4 or whatever step we have little interest in taking? Our egos re-surge and tell us that we don't need all that drastic house cleaning.

Another trap we fall into is the self-directed program. We, ourselves, decide when it is time to move on to the next step. I know if I was left to my own devices I'd still be on Step 3. My sponsor told me when it was time to move to the next step. He certainly knew more than I about achieving sobriety. And he was right - he made me do Step 4 before I felt I was ready.

But then again, when am I really ready? When a rope is around my neck? The entire 12 Step process is marked by facing some unpleasant things about ourselves, facing some of our base fears, swallowing our pride, puncturing our egos, discarding old ideas for new. These aren't things that come naturally or easily to alcoholics as a class. They make us uncomfortable. They may be painful. It's simple but not easy.

We don't have to do the steps perfectly! My experience with each and every step has increased in the years that have transpired. And, believe it or not, working the last three steps each day mirrors the process of the first nine steps anyway. So, in an absolute sense, we can take our sweet time doing these steps.

The question becomes this:How long are we willing to continue to suffer from untreated alcoholism?
-Jim 8/8/80, Alcoholic Anonymous 2 (http://groups.yahoo.com, keyword "alcoholicanonymous2")

And Furthermore: It's never to early to get into our Steps. The point is to try and practice them to the best of our ability, not to master them when we think we are well enough.
-Archie, Alcoholic Anonymous 2 (http://groups.yahoo.com, keyword "alcoholicanonymous2")

(Alcoholics Anonymous)